Recently, a relative with dementia played with the automatic car windows so much that the window mechanism broke. If a little kid did that, the kid would be punished somehow, or at least be made to understand the relationship between opening and closing the windows excessively and the windows becoming broken. But you can’t do that with an adult who has lost the capacity for reason.
People with dementia are adults, and they deserve dignity and respect. But at the same time, they have dementia. They do things that can be frustrating or downright dangerous to themselves or others. Here’s a list of things that we have figured out, and some suggestions from a very detailed National Institutes of Health list, that might save you some stress while keeping your loved ones safe.
Use the child safety locks in the car: Dig out the owner’s manual and figure out how to turn them on, to keep the door locked and the window up.
Install child safety latches in the kitchen: Keep your loved one away from knives and stop them from accidentally turning on the stove with the same gadgets you would use for little ones.
Remove locks from bathroom doors: Obviously, give people privacy! But you don’t want your relative accidentally locking themselves in. At a minimum, make sure the key is accessible.
Hide the remote: One day, our relative was pushing buttons on the remote and set the TV for the Spanish audio track. Their caregiver couldn’t figure out how to fix it, and neither person spoke Spanish, so my husband had to make a special trip to take care of it. While not dangerous, it was a big hassle. With some things, if it’s out of sight, it’s out of mind.
Switch to non-alcoholic beer and wine: It didn’t take much for our loved one to become overserved at restaurants, or to keep going to the fridge at home. It was a problem! Then we figured out the trick: keep plenty of non-alcoholic beer on hand. There are tons of good ones on the market these days, too, and most bars and restaurants have at least one on the menu.
Have you figured out any tricks for keeping people with dementia safe and reducing frustration for their caregivers? Please, share in the comments!
Near the entrance door - have current pictures of regular visitors (family, friends & caregivers). This is a graceful way for them to recognize people as their memories slip.