In the last issue of The Whatever Years, I talked about dealing with people who shouldn’t be driving. And you, wonderful readers, sent me some additional tips and resources. Here’s what I’ve learned:
The Alzheimer’s Association has a wealth of resources for having the discussion about driving with your loved ones. It also has advice on how to plan ahead so that the driver in question has agency over the decision. And, they have a handy fill-in-the blank driving contract to help in negotiating the transition from driver to non-driver. The information applies whether or not dementia is the issue.
Many families have had success setting a time limit. The driver simply agrees to give up the car upon turning 80, when it’s time for a new car, after they sell their house and move downtown, whatever makes sense. This gives everyone time to prepare. I’m 57, and I know that my vision will become an issue sooner or later. I may be fine for another 20 years, or I may not be. But I have plenty of time to think about it. And dream about a future with autonomous vehicles.
Place an Apple Airtag on the car of an elder prone to forgetfulness or wandering. Ethically, you should inform the driver that you’re doing this.
Many states have an accelerated drivers license renewal schedule for older drivers. If you can, accompany the driver so that you can find out what’s going on. My cousin whose vision was failing told the nice lady at the DMV that she had an eye doctor’s appointment coming up, so the nice lady at the DMV passed her. It didn’t matter, because at that point, there was nothing the eye doctor could do! (My cousin bragged about pulling this one over on the DMV, too.)
If you have other ideas, please, pass them along!
Things to Read
Power Ballads: Do you love them? Some people do. Elizabeth Gomez of Mixed Race Tape has an ode to the genre. (Substack)
Prepare for Mother’s Day: Claire Zulkey, who runs the Evil Witches coven, has advice on how to remove the burden of Mother’s Day from the mothers. (Substack)
Prepare for the Inevitable: Or, how to future-proof your career in the age of AI. (Harvard Business Review)
Things to Do
Get Money Back: Last week, I posted about rebates offered by utilities for energy-saving appliances. A reader told me that similar rebates are available for water-saving fixtures. Good to know! (US EPA)
Upgrade Your Cookware: The polyfluorinated substances (PFAS) in non-stick cookware are bad news, but new pots and pans are expensive. Good thing you can buy factory seconds of the super-fancy AllClad steel and copper pans. We bought some last year, and darned if they don’t look like top quality to me. Sign up for the newsletter to receive notice of the next sale. (HomeAndCookSales.com)
Things to Watch
Super dark comedy: John Mulaney’s latest show on Netflix is hilarious, but also, really dark. He delves into addiction and friendship, and I loved it.
Things to talk about
How can you shake up your life? I’m looking for ideas.