How old do you think you are?

The calendar doesn't match my reality. What about yours?

I just finished Kate Atkinson’s 2000 novel Emotionally Weird. A lot happens in that book, set in Scotland, including this scene between two older women who are playing hooky from their assisted living facility. Mrs. MacBeth is telling Mrs. McCue’s granddaughter Maisie about her first marriage.

“It all seems like yesterday,” she concluded sadly.

“Aye, you dinnae age inside,” Mrs. McCue said; “inside you’re aye young.”

“How young?” Maisie asked.

“Twenty-one,” Mrs. McCue said.

“Twenty-five,” Mrs. MacBeth said.

Personally, I feel about 26. This is a problem because it occasionally makes me look ridiculous amongst the youngs.

My kid might disagree.

A recent story in The Atlantic discussed this very issue. Most people feel about 20% younger than their calendar age, researchers have found. I feel more than 50% younger, so I’m an extreme case. It’s unclear if this is optimism, denialism, a cultural bias against aging, or something else entirely. I am older now than my grandmother ever was, older than three of my sorority sisters ever will be, and yet, I still feel like I’m 26 and very hip.

I mean, I am, right? Right?

When people feel older than their calendar age, it’s usually because of too much stress or health issues. In a recent interview with Oldster, Cheryl Strayed discusses how she felt so old when she was in her late teens and early 20s because of her financial responsibilities and her early first marriage. She says that she now feels exactly her age. Average the two of us, and you get close to that 20% younger average.

In Oprah’s heyday, she promoted the idea of real age based on health factors. Eat more vegetables, get more exercise, avoid stress, and you’ll feel way younger! It’s good advice, certainly.

But no matter how many vegetables I eat, I’ll never pass for 26. I try to talk about music with people younger than I, and they smile and nod. They assume that I know nothing about technology and be shocked when I solve a bedeviling WordPress problem.

They underestimate the olds to their peril.

And with that, I offer you this song, about being 26. I’d like to say that my closet bears no resemblance to the picture, but? Yeah. There’s a cute outfit in there somewhere.

Let me know what you think.