So much togetherness.
And help me learn to love my house again, please.
The New York Times Magazine special retirement issue included an article about couples trying to navigate living together in retirement when they had different ideas about what to do all day. (NYTimes gift link) It’s a real challenge.
Of course, most of us went through a similar exercise during the pandemic lockdown. When we had to live and work and go to school together, we all got a little buggy. While humans are social creatures, I’m not sure that we’re supposed to be together in one place that much.
I’ve worked from home for a long time, and it has always made me a little stir-crazy. I often go out to lunch or attend networking events just to get out of the house. And right now, the house is bringing me down. It’s a nice house, built in 1894 (but not historic), in a nice neighborhood where we can walk to Wrigley Field, a great cinema, and lots of shops and restaurants. But inside? It is one non-stop chore. All I see is the dated wallpaper, the graduation present that I need to ship to my nephew, the dusty shelves, the pile of clothes that I need to sort through, and all the work I have to do. It is not a respite!
I feel like retiring here would be committing myself to drudgery rather than fun.
So here’s my question: how can I love my house again? What do you do to see past the chores and errands in the place where you live and work, and where your spouse also lives and work?
What should I do?
And please, discuss in the comments.
Less is definitely more!
After living in a lovely home for 23 years (and both of us working from home) we sold everything to become extreme minimalists and move on a sailboat. You don't know 'togetherness' until you're living 24/7 in a tiny house afloat. We typically spend 7 - 10 months at sea. As I write this, were anchored next to Harrah's in Atlantic City.
I used to joke that I'd have to move to divest myself of all our stuff. Turns out I was right.
I read "Spark Joy" and a book on hoarding. Is there an HA (hoarders anonymous) group? Try as I might over the years, I seriously had trouble eliminating clutter and stuff. But we did it!
I donated so much - and tried to do it thoughtfully. All my office & craft supplies went to a local Montessori school. 1000+ Books (300 alone were my cookbook collection) were donated to churches and school libraries. And all of our Danish possessions; novels, cookbooks, board games, collected Royal Copenhagen pieces were donated to The Danish Home of Chicago.
Sad but true, our boys and their wives were not interested in my china which was handed down from hubby's grandmother. 😪
Now we have what we need and not a bit more. In fact, when we visit our land-lubber friends we bring things to be 'donated' to them. Oh, we don't tell them, we hide our things in plain sight amongst their own possessions. Mugs in the kitchen cabinets, towels (clean, of course) in the linen closet, etc.
It's fun when I get a call: "um, my husband just asked me when I purchased a wall hanging. I didn't. Did you abandon this at my house?"
Why yes, yes I did! Took you long enough to notice it.
So while I suggest a huge yard sale and/or straight up donation as a first choice... moving is what worked for me!
I love your home... don't move!
#2SunsetSailors
Make it a project. Take a few days off. Tackle it room by room, or prioritize your list. If this is what you do for 2 days with few distractions you will fly through it and wonder what the hell you were fretting over. Just Getter Dun. Sure, you can pay someone - but its stupid work and you will still need to make most of the decisions. Save the money for a splurging treat when you are done